Thanksgiving

I am thankful more many things, but this year I want to give a special thanks to the amazing girls in my life. My friends have been so supportive and loving over the past year and a half since I lost my mom and I could not be more grateful for them. 

Sasha- I am so proud of the woman and mother you have become, you are so strong and steady. You are such a hard worker and a wonderful mommy. Thank you for always pushing so hard for our friendship. I often feel overwhelmed with my life and it is all I can do sometimes to even lift my phone and send a text, but you make sure that we talk and see each other and I am so grateful for that. You are and always will be such a special part of my life. You have know idea how amazing you are, and I cant wait for your prince charming to come along. I love you Sash. 

Ashley- My Ashley distance and time could never separate us, we don't get to visit as much as I would like and we are in such different places in life, but you are such a joy to me. When I am having a bad day all I have to do is look back on some of our high school stories and I smile. Your dedication and hard work along with your ability to have a good time amaze me. You are a rock star. I cannot wait to catch up and laugh for hours on Christmas. Your friendship has truly proven to withstand time and distance and I am forever grateful for the laughter and joy you have blessed me with. I love you Ash.

Beka- Words don't explain what your friendship means to me. You have so many special friends in your life, you were born to be a friend to many and I am blessed to be one of them. You always know just what I need and how to help me with it. You are such an inspiration to me, I am truly blessed you call you my friend. I look up to you in a spiritual sense, I aspire to be as  obedient to Gods voice as you are. I love you Beka Boo.

Jacinda- My beautiful Jacinda, you are such a breath of fresh air to me. I love that when we are together we can have so much fun but also have some great heart to heart talks. You are just so much fun and a great friend. I enjoy all the time we are able to spend together, and I wish we could hang out more often. You are so real, you don't put on a front for anyone and I love that about you. I love you Cinders.

Tracie- You have always been and always will be my bff. I cannot believe we are both mommy's now. It seems like just yesterday we were squeezed into my twin size bed watching the real world. You are such a joy to my heart and I love you very much. You have become such a great mom and I am so proud of you. I love you T-money. 

Crystal- You are so much more to me than a sister-n-law, you have been such a huge supporter to Ricky and I and I am so grateful to have you in our lives. You are such a hard worker and you give so much to so many people. I am so glad that I finally have the sister I have always wanted. I love you sister Crystal.

Jaime- You are my sunshine ;) You have walked with me though some really tough times and you have shown me true friendship. You are so loyal and dedicated to everyone and I am so blessed to know you. All I need when I am having a rough day is to see you smile. Thank you for being my friend and for being the best first teacher for Leo. I love you Ms. Jaime. 

Sam- You are the newest member of my bff list. Welcome to team Erin! The past year you have been so much more than a co-teacher to me, you have been such a good friend and you are so genuine and honest. Thank you for supporting me and helping me through some difficult times and for loving my boys so much. I will miss you everyday and am forever grateful that we got to know each other so well. I love you Ms. Fragle. 

I believe that God placed each one of you in my life for a reason and I am so grateful for all of you. Thanks for loving me. 

Erin

Memories

I have many wonderful memories of my childhood and I am creating lasting memories everyday with my family. 

But if there was One memory I could wipe from my mind it would be seeing my mom sick. 

My mom made me chicken  noodle soup every time I stayed home sick from school when I was little. She used to let me stay home from school even on the days when she doubted that I was really sick. My favorite part was when I got to go back to sleep for a few hours, then wake up and watch t.v. and she would make me some soup. 

When I had the stomach flu, my mom would put a trash can or old bowl next to my bed. She'd bring in a cool washcloth and run it over my head and then she would sit with me until I fell asleep. 

She stayed home from work and took care of me every time I was sick from birth until age I got married. 

And then she became sick herself.

And there were days when I wanted to sit by her bed and make her toast and tell her to eat slowly, she didn't know what her stomach could handle; to take tiny sips of ginger ale, I used to by her pedialite pops because she could not keep anything down and I worried about her staying hydrated. But she always waved me off and told me to go back to work, to take care of my family. "Ricky and Leo must be missing you" she would tell me. 

I felt SOOOOOO Helpless. And I was. 

I sit her tonight the boys are fast asleep and I ask God WHY? Why couldn't this story end with ... and she beat the cancer and she is fine. 

Why do I have to go through parenting my kids without my moms advice. Why don't I have my mom to call every night when I cant figure out quite what ingredient I am missing. Why will my kids never know their Grandma. Why........

Then I remember the answer to all these questions. I have known it all along. 

Gods plans may not be aligned with our plans. But God plans none the less are perfect. If I could rewrite my moms ending I would, but maybe I don't want to change her story because I don't know what that ending would hold.  

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." -Romans 8:18

"...For  I am convinced that neither death or life, neither angles or demons, neither the present or the future... will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37